Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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