just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize