Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
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