I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
