thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
