I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize