Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I touched a dick in church today
Randomize
