I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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