Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
