People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize