Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
