You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
