Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
