we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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