just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
