Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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