2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
