Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.