he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
