their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.