Texts From Last Night

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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!

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  (318): omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!! http://tfl.nu/wtbk
  Replies (14) Good night (1178) Bad night (1533)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend

  (1-708): View more from Illinois

  why?

  (708): View more from Illinois

  so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.

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  (708): you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend (1-708): why? (708): so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement. http://tfl.nu/h2nt
  Replies (163) Good night (3470) Bad night (1146)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck

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  (732): no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck http://tfl.nu/y61e
  Replies (35) Good night (1012) Bad night (6227)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE

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  (904): He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE http://tfl.nu/khu1
  Replies (20) Good night (1084) Bad night (3541)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank

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  (514): Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank http://tfl.nu/3d4y
  Replies (10) Good night (931) Bad night (3908)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Some one left their pants in the elevator.

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  (617): Some one left their pants in the elevator. http://tfl.nu/4aog
  Replies (7) Good night (4270) Bad night (812)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I know, she tried to drink it

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  (260): He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street. (317): I know, she tried to drink it http://tfl.nu/h1z5
  Replies (10) Good night (1070) Bad night (2562)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.

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  (917): she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable. http://tfl.nu/xbzh
  Replies (7) Good night (766) Bad night (1541)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts. 

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  (203): Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.  http://tfl.nu/0ezy
  Replies (6) Good night (1434) Bad night (557)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore

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  (910): I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore http://tfl.nu/qak0
  Replies (6) Good night (1637) Bad night (515)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.

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  (702): Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/o3bo
  Replies (10) Good night (999) Bad night (572)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.

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  (512): So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands. http://tfl.nu/oa75
  Replies (6) Good night (1365) Bad night (657)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.

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  (414): I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest. http://tfl.nu/z09j
  Replies (4) Good night (735) Bad night (303)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk

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  (780): Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk http://tfl.nu/rb5a
  Replies (4) Good night (1916) Bad night (403)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite

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  (416): drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite http://tfl.nu/pmot
  Replies (7) Good night (519) Bad night (271)

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