Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
