But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
