There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize