the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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