3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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