I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
