just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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