I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
