I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
operation have a gay friend backfired
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
