I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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