didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
