I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
