weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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