Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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