I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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