It's Friday. Sex?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
