Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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