so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
