Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
