Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
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