i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
