I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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