Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
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