I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
