Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
