is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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