My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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