Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
