ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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