His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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