There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
