Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
