I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
