just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
