i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
