I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Randomize
