My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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