Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
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