hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
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