Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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