3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door