Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple