Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
she peed on how many people?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
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