u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
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It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.