just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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