is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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