Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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