1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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