dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
