Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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