my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
