my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
