no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
