For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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