You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
