I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
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Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
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I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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