Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
